Inside my mind

did you ever feel like you were trapped
cornered and can't go anywhere
felt like there's no where to go
you just need to stay still and wonder

but it won't work because you're a wanderer
you can't be just cornered and caged
you want to fly and just go anywhere
escape and run freely everywhere

It's sad because you are stuck
You've been there sitting
doing nothing and just wasting
waiting as if something will happen

but that won't do for you
it will never be
so, you tried to escape 
You tried to fly but broke your wings

Then you were wounded
but to you it was nothing
You didn't care and wouldn't mind
as long as you can just go through
Even it's tough, you'll push through

You hate it because it's irritating
annoying and frustrating
then you promise and swear
that you'll never be like this

Your chance came, with anticipation
you are expecting so much
you know this is the time
You're getting there, slowly

You will see yourself there
running with all your strength
pushing through, so persistent
you don't care what will be broken
All you can do is just to move forward

Now, nothing matters
You just do everything you want
you have to dream high and make it right
keep moving forward, one step at a time

You're getting there
just keep moving, move forward
step, walk and run more
do it more and more

you shouldn't stop
your mind tells you not stop
step forward, move forward
don't let it slide, don't stop

never make yourself to stop
don't make yourself to like it
just keep on moving,
don't make yourself used to it

that won't really work
You're losing yourself
you might be lost
so now surely, you are found.

by:me

withered time

By: Precious Anne Palaganas

Why do I always wonder?
Yet I am still here
Always feeling the same
Over and over again

No right to complain
Because I am so plain
Still feeling so lame
Like I am full of shame

Not used to doing nothing
Maybe I am just not doing
Feel so wrong
In this place and this toil

Felt like I'm losing
Something or my time
I know I should be somewhere
For sure, not here.

Don't know what to do
Feel so burdened for nothing
Like there's some task
But really just wind

It keeps on blowing in my face
Like slapping me left and right
Saying, "Hey, what are you doing?"
Telling me something!

I felt like I'm wasting my time
Doing something I don't love
Staying is like dying
And I want to leave and live now. 

such a faze mind

I know I can go back
I want to go back
I miss my old self
Where is the 'happy' me?

when will this end?
the pain and worries
such an annoying feeling
so uncomfortable

so sad, so bad
i believe i can make it
i want to erase it
just want to run and hide

feels so light
walking at night
terrible plight
i can't fight

this is my mind
can you see mine?
now you know
so please go......

By: Me

How would you feel?

How would you feel if you find out that you have a sickness?
a very BIG one
you found out at the most unexpected time
unbelievable, very unacceptable

Then you realize it is true
Very true that you could't do anything
you don't know what to do, what to say
who to talk to, who to ask for help or advice?
You just don't know

You let that moment of silence to pass
you look at each other and then laugh
then you are scared, then you smile 
then you are sad and then you think...

How would you feel if it is so sudden?
How would you feel if it is so surreal?
How would you feel when you are not ready?
How would you feel when you felt this weak?

This question makes my mind like this?
My mind is like consists of tangled wires now
Can't see how to untie and solve the puzzle
Don't know what to do, don't know what it is

I am so confused, my mind is cracking up
Feels like wanted someone to open it up
I want to see what's inside, what can it do
What can I do? How should I do it?
Somebody would like to tell me or to tell us what to do?

Oh, feels like I am going crazy
This thing is such a mess
Feels like can't do anything at this time
I need to let this pass and will surely surpass...

By: Me

Missing you

People see me smile
Walk and talk, eat and sleep
I laugh out loud
And look so proud

I do a lot of things
Go here and there
I work and play
I sing and praise

I may do all of those things
Give me and I'll do it
Thinking positively 
With so much energy

But when I sit on that corner
Reflect and pray, talk to Him
Tears fall and it's still you
I remember all of you

It is still you that I yearn
At the end of the day.
You're gone but
I am missing you everyday.

By: Precious Anne Palaganas

Noise

What is noise?
Something good or bad?
Is it soft or loud?
Or pleasing to your ears?

can be found inside, outside
streets, halls, everywhere
You might not know it is with you
Clamoring inside, crying out

Can be something physical or mental
something you comprehend or not
Or just a like a music to you
That you are so used to

Whenever, wherever it is there
always and will always be
Will never leave til the end
Until you'll stop hearing them

Something you can sense
You can feel, and see
Coming to you
Moving inside of you

STRESS + ANGER = DANGER

It's been a long time since I feel this
I cannot even remember when is the last time
This is the feeling that I hate the most
A really scary feeling

This is the side of me (that) I am scared of
Maybe because it is rare for me
I don't know how to let this go
I just can explode or just cry

It is a different feeling
Something different to me
I'm out of control
I don't know how to let it go

I don't know since when
But I think it still goes on
Is it because of my situation
That affects my emotion?

I am trying to keep calm
And be in control
All I wish that all of this
I can surpass and conquer all.

You

I know you'll come
You'll be here now
Where we will see
And look at the sky

You maybe in black
white or brown
whatever color and form
It doesn't matter at all

I may see you now
And just hanging around
Or maybe not now
Surely that day will come

I believe in you
And we'll make it through
Our story will start
Surely we won't part

I have this faith
That you are near
The path we'll take
I am ready to create.

Rain

I have asked a lot of people if they like the rain or a rainy day

Some would say “No”, some would say “Yes”.

They have their reasons which I also second the motion.

We have our love and hate to rain.

But rain will always be there.

Whether we like it or not, it will come and go whenever he wants.

Rain can cause a lot of bad things

If it so heavy and wind joins, it can cause destructions,

Floods, flash floods, earthquake, tsunamis and so on.

Rain is very strong and fearful.

We cannot deny what rain can do to us

And if it will rain, yes it will rain.

All we can do is to be ready

As rain is so strong and can’t be hold

A power we can’t estimate

Rainfall we can’t count

Undeniably, he is such a star

With its charisma people that can’t ignore

Totally rain can be unexpected

We can’t determine its perseverance

It’s free will that we can’t measure

How it wants to fall and how it wants to stay and go

Sometimes I wonder where it comes from

Its strength is hard to overcome

But as I think about it

We cannot do something with it.

This is rain’s journey and so do you

It is up to you now, what should you do

Either to gear up and protect yourself

Or just continue and go with its flow.

Trouble

My mind is unease
Feels like I will be sick
My heart feels it so much
That it is so near

Can't help but sometimes bend
Feels like I'm so weak
Fear comes to me
My mind is unrest

I can feel the rush
the cold feet
the butterflies in my stomach
Is this anxiety?

My heart keeps beating
my pulse is rising
I cannot contain
the feeling is inexplicable

My strength is crumbling
like want to step back
Courage is my weapon
Please come to me

Here comes the feeling
which sometimes I despise
this makes me alive
My faith is just so high

A Dillema

My mind tells me this

It haunts me inside

Something I can't hear

I can't understand, can't bear

The whispers are so loud

But the message so dark

Feels so lost

Again, needs to rest

So many thoughts

But all are naughts

It grows

But it has to go

Last time is the same

I felt it again

Feels natural

But seems so hard

It is like a rain

Which comes and go

A feeling that shows

I am still at work.

                                                                                                                                            written by: Precious Anne Palaganas

A Slumber Did My Spirit Seal

By: William Wordsworth

A slumber did my spirit seal
I had no human fears:
She seemed a thing that could not feel
The touch of earthly years. 

No motion has she now, no force;
She neither hears nor sees;
Rolled round in earth's diurnal course,
With rocks, and stones, and trees.
No motion has she now, no force;
She neither hears nor sees;
Rolled round in earth's diurnal course,
With rocks, and stones, and trees. 

This is one of my favorite poems these days.. Enjoy reading! :)

spare time

I remember what I have heard from one of Jacky Chan's movie, "Being still and doing nothing are two different things".....

I guess it is true...

I may not be doing a lot of things lately (physically) but I am thinking a lot! How ironic! And things keep on running on my mind. I can't make them stop..They keep on coming and overflowing...

I am still...but my mind keep on working. Thinking, over thinking. I have these tendencies to over analyze things which made me feel troubled.

I am worrying too much, which I think I should be not.

I need to start moving..stop thinking and keep on going..

I can do this. this feeling will pass... you can too. If you are feeling the same, surely it will pass..

Just keep on going. Act now.. You can do it! l(^_^)

~No happy ending~

There's no happy ever after but there's a forever.
Lately, I am hearing different love stories from different people. 
I learned that there is a forever. But there is no happy ending.
I don't believe in happy ever after but I believe in 'forever'.

(Below are words that rather be unsaid...)
I know we cannot be together. 
We cannot be in the same place and in the same time.
Things may get complicated if we will be together.
Friendship maybe broken and ties can be cut.
I'd rather be like this so that I can still hold on to this. 

A feeling that still continues but I know I'll get there. 
My feeling will fade away, I know it will happen.
I am here, will be waiting for you but not forever.
I will be here thinking of you but not for so long. 
All I can do is to remember. 
Remember the memories that are 'forever'. 
Memories that will be our ground to meet, our time to be together.

There really people who loves each other but 
cannot be together and there are people who are 
together but they don't love each other. 
There might no 'happy ending' but I know there will be a 'forever' for us. 

Before I was a dreamer, now I am a believer.....

When I was younger, I have a lot of dreams. I thought I can do so many things at the same time. I thought I can do different things. I wanted to be a dentist, a broadcaster, a writer, a teacher, a ballerina, and a pianist. As I grew older, things change. My dreams change as I grew a year or two years. The time came and I understood that there were things that could not happen and things that were not meant to happen. I decided to took up Mass Communication to be a reporter, I found the job very noble and exciting. I thought it was just like that. While studying everything about media, I realized that I wanted to be part of the production, one of the people who works behind the camera. Of course after graduation, as an aspiring media practitioner I wanted to work in the media industry. Things did not happen according to what I dreamed before. Now I am an online English tutor and currently taking up teaching units. 

There might be a big wave that came and change the direction of my current but still I know I am on my way there. I may not be in the place where I dreamt to be but I believe that I am on the right spot to start on. I know that I am now sailing on the right direction and there are questions that the wind brought in.

Why do I want to teach?
     I want to teach because I want to share my knowledge and experiences to the students. It is not just educating them about the lessons but also teaching them how to value their own self and to encourage them to dream. I also believe that a teacher is also a public servant. I can still help other people by means of teaching and communicating with them.

What should I teach?
     I would like to teach them the basics that they need to know, from basic to complex. I would also love to discuss some situation-based topics so that their reasoning and critical thinking skills will improve.

How should I teach?
     The focus should be to the student. I do not want to disregard the spoon-fed type of teaching but it will be better if we encourage students to think and decide things on their own. Let them have hands-on or scenario-based activities.

What kind of students do I want to have?
      I believe teachers wanted to have diligent and participial students but I think I should not be particular and selective when it comes to students. I believe that they come to school because they want to learn and gain knowledge. Some come to school because they  believe that education can help them to have a better life in the future.

How will I reach out to my students?
     It depends on the personality of the student that is why knowing them is very important. There are different strategies can be used in different kinds of students. (Honestly, I am not sure what kind of teacher I should be.)

What do I want them to learn from me?
     I am hoping that they would learn a lot from the lessons I taught. Most importantly, I want them to be compassionate in their dreams and to others.

Yes, before I was a dreamer but now is the time that I should start doing and believing in things that I wanted to happen. One step at a time, wave by wave I know I(we) will get there. 

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”  ~Harriet Tubman 

Who Am I?

"Who am I?" by Casting Crowns

(video taken from youtube, posted by:chabel1982)

Reflection:

There are times in our life that we say: "oh time is so fast!" (ang bilis ng oras..) I did not notice that time's over. We are busy in so many things. We do a lot of things, things we needed to do and things that we wanted to do. And when we take a pause and check what we've done, we ask, 'Who am I?'

Others can answer this question easily and others cannot. It is a difficult question for me. I am not saying I don't know who am I, of course I do. I can actually tell you who am I as a daughter, as a student, as a tutor, as a citizen, as a friend, as a family. This question needs more time of reflection and my answer can still change in the future. But "Who am I" really as person? This is what I wrote before when this question was asked as a homework dated 61212:

"I am a graduate of B.A. Mass Communication major in Broadcasting. I am a writer by 

heart. I haven’t written much but I do like writing. I am an English tutor.

I am a service-oriented person. I want to help other people. I want to say I am a good

daughter. I am sometimes quiet and sometimes talkative. I smile. I cry. I laugh. I reflect. I

dance. I sing but I don’t have a good  voice. I can’t swim. I love to learn something new.  

I am a loyal friend (I believe so). I’m a couch potato. I enjoy watching Korean dramas. And 

I eat kimchi. I like reading books but I just chose what I read. I am a dreamer. I love

nature. I pray. Most of all, I AM WHO I AM."

Looking back at this question, I found my answer very general. That it did not make sense

to me. Yes, those things are true and that is who I am. I believe that there is more. After 

hearing the son g"Who am I" by Casting Crowns, these lines struck me a lot.

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done

Not because of what I've done

But because of who You are 

It is not important who I am to others and how they see me. The most important is what the things that I have done. Things I've done for others and for God. It’s also not just about the things I've done but the things that He has done to us. It is Him who made me for who I am. It is Him, who knows me very well. And I am what I am because of Him.

Losing my plot

(late post 100312)

I wonder which is better, doing nothing and being still

Or doing a lot of things, and being everywhere?

At this time, this very moment there are a lot of things going on my mind.

There are so much to do, "Otoke?"

I don't know where to start, what to do first.

I might be thinking a lot, but THEY ARE SO MUCH

It's not that I don't have time, time is always there but just flies fast...

Time changes, time flies

If I can make it stop just for while

So that I'll have time to unwind

In this life, everything is so fast

Everything changes in one snap

Seems like we can't sleep

Because it feels like all things will disappear 

In one wink everything changes

Yes it's true, one thing is constant that is CHANGE.

Time management is the key

Know your priorities and goals

Take action in every plan you make

Step by step, one by one.

I may be losing it but not now

The feeling is still good and it's normal

And it's good to know

Surely it will pass by...

1st November 2012

I'm not sure how to start this.. Should I say "Happy Halloween" or "Happy All Saint's Day"? I hope everyone had a good day. I think I had a good one even though the highlight of my day is waiting.

I went to my former workplace to be part of a post birthday celebration for a dear friend. She's very close to me and I loved her so much so I came. First plan was not that successful so there's plan B. Anyways, I will not focus on these because I need to leave immediately before pizza man came so I missed the fun. 

I just felt something when I sat and waited there. There's a feeling of comfortableness and I felt like I'm at home. I realized, I missed the office and the people. I can be with them anytime and just sat around them doing nothing. I'm still attached with them and I said to myself, "I want to go back". I may say that I can go back but I think that's not a good idea. I did not regret the decision I made, I think I just really miss them so much. They will always be my family and friends. I miss you guys! See you around...

my former co-workers

My UTIS family



Enjoy the long weekend friends! :)

falling slowly

by: Precious Anne Palaganas

Here I go again feeling like this
Feeling so different, not at ease and sad.
I do not know what is the reason behind this
I'm feeling bad, something coming from inside

I'm doing nothing but feels so bothered
Thinking of something but so undecided
There's a lot going on inside
Which makes me scream with no sound

I do not know what's going on
But I know there is something current
I hate feeling this most of the time
But I think it will happen again in some time.

I guess it's part of me and will always happen to me
This is one of those days when I feel like falling
I am falling slowly and at this time want to be free
A smile would do and anyone care to catch me?

sharing this song, enjoy! 

Weekend is coming, any plans friends? 

 Keep smiling! ^-^

It's over...

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/4018488/?claim=yu9nr9br95b">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

I was waiting for you to tell me, but you did not.
I was waiting for you to see me, but you did not.
I remember the things that you did and told me before
but now, I think you did not.
I thought you are worth waiting for but I guess you were not.
I fancied you before but now I am not.